Dearest Max,
I can’t believe you’re about to graduate from college. Correction: I can TOTALLY believe you’re graduating. You’ve always been a stellar student. Even in pre-school, you completed every assignment thoughtfully and carefully.
I just can’t believe you’re already graduating from college. How did four years pass at Lightspeed? Has it felt slower for you? I hope you’ve been able to savor this precious stage of your life.
Granted, no one savored the first “Covid quarter” in 2020, when college was your bedroom. Regardless, you made the most of it, even pledging a fraternity via Zoom. By the way, despite my initial reservations, I’m thankful you joined a frat, which gave you both a room of your own and an instant community, all under one roof.
Max, you’ve blossomed these past four years into a magnificent young man. You don’t need much advice from me. But, it’s the season for commencement speeches, and I’m a writer and your mom, so here goes.
Here are 12 things to think about as you embark on your next big adventure.
1. Don’t do dumb things. Our family motto isn’t exactly highbrow, but it’s effective. Ask yourself, “Is this a dumb thing?” and you’ll get an instant gut check about any decision you’re about to make.
2. Speaking of guts, trust yours. You know what’s right and true for you. If your gut is churning (and not from questionable leftovers), listen.
3. I repeat: listen. In a world filled with talkers, be an active listener. You’ll become a more compassionate, empathetic human being, and other people will always trust, value, and welcome your input. Listening is a skill, and it’s also a gift.
4. Safety first. Wear your seatbelt. Wear sunblock. Bike and ski with a helmet. Don’t ski alone. Be avalanche-aware. Remember to floss.
5. In. Out. Repeat. Take a few slow, deep, cleansing breaths—ideally outside—every single day.
6. Embrace complexity. In this time of protest, turmoil, and TikTok, memes seem to matter more than deep thought. I hope you’ll always stand up for what you believe in. When you do, make sure you understand what you’re fighting for. As you know, I was almost arrested in college while storming a building with an angry mob because someone may have been talking to someone else about something that we may have disagreed with. It was one of the dumbest things I’ve ever done. I hope I learned this lesson so you don’t have to.
7. Be a band of brothers. Like you, your brother is an awesome dude. Share your life’s adventures (and misadventures) with him. Nothing beats being best buds with your baby bro.
8. Read. Whether it’s digital, audio, or the good old-fashioned paper kind, always have an engrossing book on hand. Join your local library or use the Libby app.
9. Family matters: Reach out and stay close to your grandparents. Your aunts and uncle. Your cousins. Family is everything.
10. Friendship matters. Even the closest friendships need nurturing to thrive. Now that you and the guys you’ve shared a bathroom and a Costco membership with are scattering to different states, create new ways to be there for each other. It will take effort, and it will be worth it.
11. Know the news. Beyond the New York Times app, read the local paper of whatever city you call home. Remember, the late-night hosts deliver news and insights with humor and smarts.
12. Call me. Better yet, FaceTime. Whenever I hear from you, for whatever reason, it always makes my day.
So, here you go, Max—twelve rather random thoughts for you to ponder. I’ll end with this. When you move across the country in a couple of months, you’ll be farther from home than ever. I’ll miss you more than ever. I’ll also be prouder of you than ever.
Love,
Mom
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